Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for asking and yes I remember our conversation clearly. Believe it or not, I continued to see him even though he was misleading me on believing that he wants to have a relationship with me someday outside the office.

But a few months ago, I stopped for good (yes, for sure good now)  as I realized I am wasting my time and energy, yes I got stronger, however, it also did quite internal damage, I faced rejection over rejection again and again. The reason I kept going back as I trusted him completely and I loved his gentleness and kindness. So, I kept working on how to love him unconditionally without any expectation. But his mixed signals (i am not making it up it was very clear signals that he wanted more too) again build a desire in me for having more with him but when I used to bring it up he would just plain deny it. So I went over that pain of rejection enormous number of times and the sad part is he never helped me deal with it. I also lost confidence in me that something is wrong with me,  I am so needy, I am bad to have expectations?

Anyhow, this experience made me more spiritual and I am seeing a woman therapist now and lets’ see what future holds for me. I don’t have courage right now to start a new relationship. I am so hurt. I loved him very deeply.

Sorry for the long reply-

– Sona