Hi all,

Apologies for the silence again! I’m up and down with my so called spirals again.

I think the worst part of it all is that I feel I have finally accepted that I can’t get better anymore. I came to the realisation a few days ago after my spiral. The realisation that no matter what I try to do to better my life or my mental well being I will always end up back in that same dark place.

It is a shame, it isn’t how I pictured my life going at all BUT I have accepted it now. I’m happy to go. I feel I am just buying myself some time but ultimately I know exactly where this ends. And maybe that’s okay.

Shelby – shocker for real about your ex! How are you feeling about that? I suppose in a sense it gives you some distance to allow perspective on this new situation you’ve found yourself in!