Thank you Mark and Anita… I appreciate your insights.

Mark- I see what you are saying and I think that you are right…there is also a saying, “we are treated by others they way we allow ourselves to be treated”. Sometimes it is good to hear it from objective people, because it puts it all in perspective. My birthday is this month. He has not given me a card ever – nor celebrated with me. We have a lot of fun together but I feel like everything is coming to a head now that his son is sick…kind of like where the rubber meets the road. We have gone go back and forth from my knowing his intimate secrets and being there for him on such a deep level to being abandoned by him and living in the shadows. I feel (finally) like there is a lack of integrity and serious misalignment in this. And, I don’t want to abandon him right now, but then again, if I am not important enough to him to be fully a part of his life then maybe it should not matter to him if I leave or not. I guess I would find out…

Anita – I wish what you are saying was true, however, his reluctance has to do more with his indecision about whether he wants to be in a committed relationship. He is very close with his ex’s siblings and they spend a lot of time together. So, I understand it may feel awkward for him to introduce someone new, but I feel it has been long enough that he could send the message to me that I am worth the risk of any negative fall-out (however, I would be hard-pressed to think that they do not assume he is seeing other people after being separated for three years).

For some reason, his changing his “status”, although as silly as it sounds for someone in their mid-40s, really hit me because he changed it TO single just a few weeks ago. It was not like it was always single and he just forgot to change it. I felt it was a slap in the face to how unconditional and supportive I have been. I felt bad for bringing it up during this especially difficult time, but I felt paralyzed being able to be there fore him from here on out without saying something.