Dear Mary:

You are welcome.

You wrote: “Who knows, maybe he really does care because why else would he keep coming back? .. He probably realizes I was the only one who treated him with love and respect and care”-

– maybe he has a bit of care for you, maybe he has more than a bit from time to time, but you need more than a bit, and more than at this time or at another time. You need a good amount of consistent care, such that you can expect and rely on.

My suggestion is that you see to it that if you do have contact with him, that your contact with him will not include sex. Maybe, just maybe, if he can’t have sex with you, he will open up to you otherwise, and only if and when he treats you with “love and respect and care” in the context of an exclusive relationship, if he does, for a few months, then consider having sex with him again.

anita