Dear Curiousgeorge:

Regarding the self growth retreat, again, it sounds nice, “a few days .. routine of yoga, silent time, learning sessions etc.” and if you have the money for it, and no better use for it, it is a good idea (for as long as starting a new relationship during the retreat is not an option!) But it will be the ongoing practice of yoga, silent time and learning that will make the difference for you, months and years of it.

It reads to me that you practiced well the night before, “focusing on my breathing and letting it (the racing thoughts and anger) pass, and it did. I fell asleep for the first time in almost a year without sleeping tablets”, well done!

Regarding your most recent post five hours after the one I just responded to: your on and off girlfriend on one year and your best friend at the time spent the night together, you expressed your distress over it, the best friend apologized, then you blocked both, expecting the best friend to try to fix the friendship with you and not see or speak to the on-and-off girlfriend anymore. Yesterday you called the former best friend and she answered your question, that indeed, she is still communicating with your former on and off girlfriend.  Then you sent a message for the recent woman in your life, again, after she told you before, after each one of your attempts, that it is over.

“How to grow internally?” is the title of your thread. My answer, at this point: stay away from all ex girlfriends, and from your former best friend, and from the recent woman and do not attempt another relationship for the next six months. In these six months practice a daily routine of yoga, guided meditations, walks/ exercise, continue your employment, and find quality psychotherapy.

What do you think and how did you sleep last night?

anita