Hello anita. Thank you for taking the time to understand my story and give me your opinion.

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I used to get really anxious when I would feel bad, annoyed, anxious and acted bad towards him because I couldn’t control myself and instead of comforting me he would in turn become really angry and mad at me (which is kind of understandable), but that’s not the case anymore in the present. Also he doesn’t make those ‘bad’ jokes anymore and now I know when he’s kidding or not.

By disagreeing with me I mean that he says his opinion and most of the time we have kind of different opinions and views and also we don’t really have the same sense of humor, but there are still times when we can make each other laugh. And this makes me think that we are incompatible, I don’t feel like he gets me or that I get him cause we see things differently and I’m talking about…normal stuff in conversation…not even the big things. I feel the need to be kind of alike on some level so I can feel…connected and at peace. I don’t like it when I talk about something or I find something funny and he doesn’t get it and doesn’t understand things the way I do or at least similar.

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The thing is my father is rarely angry, he is the kind of person that can make you feel really annoyed while he is calm, by telling his opinions that are totally different than mines and his mentality is kind of different and he annoys me when he says things the way he sees them but he knows I don’t agree with them. Most of the time when I said something or talked to him he would say things that made me really angry cause I didn’t get him and I thought his opinions are not right or according to reality but I couldn’t make him understand things. I think we have kind of a cold relationship, like we talk but also he doesn’t “get” me. But I like it when we finally and rarely agree on things. Instead with my mother I feel that she gets me and since I was 6 yo or something I had separation anxiety and panicked if my mother wasn’t with me.

<no matter how trivial, any differences of opinion- because it didn’t take much for your father to direct aggression at you, any trivial disagreement could have led to his aggression.>>

I don’t feel angry at my bf anymore since we moved in and I don’t feel afraid of him being angry at me cause he has no reason to be and won’t be.