Hi that-girl-next-door,

Your sister’s not happy in her marriage but isn’t ready to end it. She knows you disapprove of her husband, but he’s still her husband, so your disapproval just makes life more miserable for her. Don’t get me wrong, I believe you have good reason to disapprove of him. He’s been disrespectful, the two of them have had “physical fights” which is just plain wrong in any relationship, and the age difference is concerning. But still, she chooses not to leave him.

I think that until she chooses to leave him you should probably try hard to focus on this guy’s good qualities and show him some love, you know, the kind of love that someone who accepts her sister’s choice in a partner would have. As difficult as it may be, it’ll make your sister’s life easier. If it were me I’d try my best to simply accept the situation she’s in without trying to fix it, make sure he feels loved and included, and not bad-mouth him to her. She already knows how you feel about him. Give her all the support she needs.

I think it starts with a note that includes an apology for not accepting her decisions, a statement about how much you miss having her in your life, and an invitation to the two of them to have dinner or something.

B