Dear Julia:

You had a five year long relationship. You “thought he was the one”, and you were ready to have “our future family” with him. The he broke up with you, “I am in pain and can hardly breathe at times” you wrote.

Around the time of the breakup, when you were in pain and could hardy breathe at times, you met another man who “kept you somewhat distracted” from that pain. His recent guy broke up with you the night before last and you lost the distraction.

Once you lost the distraction, you are back to the pain of the five year relationship breakup.

Now what?-

– you will need other distractions so that the emotional pain does not overwhelm you, you need breaks from that pain, so find distractions, long walks in nature, an exercise routine, a daily routine of guided meditations and exercise perhaps, maybe a yoga class a couple of times a week. Soft music at times, loud music at other times, a new social setting, a class perhaps, a support group you can attend-  choose your distractions wisely and according to what is practical at any time of the day and night.

In addition to wisely chosen distractions, consider psychotherapy if he depression lasts and lasts. Were you depressed before the five year relationship breakup?

anita