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I normally do not post or join forums, but this hits close to home.
I found out my husband was cheating on me with proof. He straight out lied and then blamed me for it all. I let him stay while we found out if the “person’s” child was his. It took 10 months of seeing him daily. I thought we could work it out, but he chose at every turn to disrespect me. We went to therapy and the therapist all but took his side. Found another one and he lied to that one. When all was said an done; I finally kicked him out. My son has been a victim of this selfish act. I had given my ex many outs over the years so it would not come to this and it did anyway. I gave up my dream job to raise our son (yes, my choice) and then had to figure out a way to make a living. My ex used his own mother as an excuse and put us close to financial ruin because of his choice. Thankfully, a dear friend gave me money to pay for the divorce and he agreed to everything. Five years later, I am still wondering why he chose his path.
It is a hard emotional road for this wife. It is hard to accept when you truly loved your spouse and then this happens. Be there for her. She will need to vent, cry, etc. Therapy helps. When spouses do this instead of being open – they are cowards (IMHO). Her sadness may turn to anger and that is okay. I have friends who went through this as well and 15 and 20 years later the exes were still trying to draw blood.
I hope it helps to know that she is not alone. I am still working on getting through it and I was truly devastated when I found out.
I wish her well.