Hi Victoria,

Your mother doesn’t need your father’s permission to separate from him.  She can take some personal possessions and leave today.  I’m sure she has plenty of grounds for divorce.  Her own personal safety and yours should be the most important consideration in all of this.

Up until now your father’s threat of suicide seems to have worked in keeping this marriage going in its abusive state.  This may sound like a hard line but if your father did choose that route, then he is the one that should take responsibility for that choice.  No-one else.

Unfortunately, no-one can change your father’s behavior.  He has to be the one to do it.  Likewise, if your mother wants to stay, there’s nothing you can do about it.  I am not sure if you are still living at home but if you are, you might consider finding your own place.  Your mother needs to consult a lawyer to find out where she stands in all of this.

Peggy