Forum Replies Created
October 9, 2020 at 6:02 am #367717
You cannot change what has happened. You have posted this particular picture and now you feel embarrassed. The only thing you can do is resolve to be more selective in future, that is, learn from this experience. Forgive yourself, let it go and move on. That’s the mature way.
PeggyOctober 4, 2020 at 12:07 pm #367531
My first thoughts are that your fiance should have shared with you that he was meeting up with this girl. Of course, you are allowed to have friends of both sexes but not if one of them is a ‘secret’. His behaviour resulted in you leaving your joint home and moving back in with your parents. Now you are wondering if you are somehow to blame and you desire to move back in with him.
My advice would be to stay with your parents and begin dating your fiance again, if he still wants you. Talk to your parents in an adult manner. Explain that you are willing to give him another chance but aren’t ready to commit to him fully yet. Ask them for their co-operation. If they aren’t willing to give you any space, then your other option is to move out.
When you are financially independent you can live your life exactly as you want to. That’s a choice you make and it’s one you have to take full responsibility for. Can you handle that?
PeggyOctober 3, 2020 at 9:47 am #367503
You are not marrying this man. Thank God you have been saved from that fate. You are now free to move on to someone who can love you and commit to you and whose family will also love and approve of you. You have done nothing wrong. You don’t need to feel ashamed of yourself.
What is loving yourself enough? Loving yourself enough is loving yourself completely and utterly, accepting yourself exactly as you are. You are a miracle of nature, you contain God’s divine spark, your DNA is unique which means you are unique. Be proud of who you are. There is no one else like you. Get into the habit of sending yourself love every day of your life. Bring to mind someone that you have loved in your life, even if it’s a pet or a toy, relive those joyous feelings and then allow them to flood your body, to fill you up completely, giving as much love to yourself as you have given out. You are worth it.
Rest assured nearly everyone gets ‘abandoned’ by someone in their lives. We all have break-ups. It’s part of learning about adult relationships, what works for us and what doesn’t. It’s normal and natural. As an adult, you can choose what to believe. Believe that you can attract a genuine, loving, sincere human being into your life and it will happen.
You may need to work on your self esteem which is much easier than it sounds. Write a list of your positive attributes, adding to it daily and read them out in a private space until you have completely absorbed them. This takes about three weeks. Read them over as often as you like until you are totally and utterly integrated with your special, unique qualities. Even if you feel ‘stupid’ and your thoughts throw up resistance, keep going. It’ll be worth it.
Begin shining your light and know that you are worth loving.
My very best wishes to you.
PeggyOctober 3, 2020 at 8:58 am #367501
Welcome to Tiny Buddha Forums. I think you are saying that you have learned from this website, that you have drawn from posts to use as items for discussion with your own colleagues, and that you are sharing this with your friends and your family as a recommendation. Perhaps at some point in the future either you, or they, may write in with topics that they may need help with.
PeggyOctober 3, 2020 at 8:45 am #367500
The positive things from your post are that you have graduated from high school and you are the proud owner of a driving licence. You have embarked on an on-line course in holistic studies that you are really enjoying and your father is happy to support you financially. You have a small on-line business revolving around things that you enjoy making and selling which gives you a feel good factor. Also, you are writing your thoughts down which becomes therapeutic.
1. You need to find avenues in which you can make enough money to support your business.
You say you live in a middle class district. There are usually people who need dog walkers and people who need their houses cleaned. Perhaps you could explore these two possibilities neither of which rely on transport. Before too long, you may have enough funds to purchase your own car which will give you more freedom.
2. You need ways to deal with your anxiety
Learn to breathe properly. It’s amazing how much this relieves anxiety. Place your hand on the area between your lower ribcage and breathe into that hand. Take three breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, breathing out for as long as possible and then begin breathing in, fully expanding your diaphragm, then out through your nose. Repeat until you feel calm. You can actually use the words “I am calm”, “I am relaxing” which will help you.
Learn to let go of all the things you don’t need. For instance, you perceive your driving instructor as being condescending. Forgive him for his attitude towards you and let it go. The same applies to your uncle. He sounds very unkind. Forgive him for his attitude and let it go. Remember – you now have your driving license so you are as competent as either of them. Let your success speak for you.
3. You need to feel supported by those around you and expand your social interactions.
It’s pointless trying to change the people around you. It won’t happen. The only person you can change is you. Show gratitude every day of your life and aim at becoming the best person you can be. Build your social interactions around people with common interests. Join groups of like minded people, take yoga or tai chi classes, volunteer. Job opportunities may present themselves if you have the right attitude.
4. You want to be free to live a good life.
This isn’t a daydream and it doesn’t need to be in the future. Make today the day you begin living that good life. Smile at everyone you meet, perform an act of kindness at least once a day, practise positive thinking. Above all, learn to love yourself. Be your own best friend and give up dwelling on the past – you are not there any more.
Hope this has been helpful.
Love and light
PeggySeptember 18, 2020 at 7:09 am #366929
I know this is late in the day but I wanted to send you a massive CONGRATULATIONS. Making the switch from negative thinking to positive thinking is one huge leap which can only benefit you. We all have an ego. Embrace it. Let it work for you. Befriend it. You are who you are. Love that person.
Depression is the opposite of expression. Keep expressing yourself both through the written word and the spoken word in a way that allows you to stay safe. (Depression is unexpressed anger/grief). Responsibility is the opposite of blame. Continue to take responsibility for yourself. Brilliant.
Keep smiling and one day someone like me will smile back. As the saying goes, if someone hasn’t got a smile, give them yours.
Lots of love and light
PeggySeptember 18, 2020 at 6:26 am #366924
Thank you for your concern. I can’t believe a week has gone by. I’ve had a funny time, preparing for a holiday I’ve booked at short notice, seeing family, and switching internet providers (3 days without connection). All in all, I am ok but won’t be around this coming week.
I am still thinking of you and I am putting a name forward of someone I came across recently who specializes in accessing past life records. He is also a Reiki Practitioner and I found him very accommodating in that role. His name is Neil Burgess and can be contacted at email@example.com.
Let me know how you get on.
Love and Light
PeggySeptember 8, 2020 at 3:45 am #366320
I just want to reassure you that I have not gone away. I have had a couple of days when all I’ve done is sleep. I will keep sending you good energies and see if I can gain more focus today.
Love and light
PeggySeptember 4, 2020 at 12:10 pm #366138
I haven’t been able to pick up on you very well for a couple of days but I have sent you aura cleansing and protection as well as I am able. You are describing seeing things with your mind’s eye which is the third eye or brow chakra. You are having this interference which is stopping you from living your daily life and following your dream of becoming a writer. Ask your angels to protect you and keep you safe. Ask them to guide you to your true path. Selenite is a good crystal to use for this. Rock salt or salt lamps can help absorb any negativity that may be around you in your home or workplace.
I will write more when I get some clearer images.
PeggySeptember 3, 2020 at 8:35 am #366056
You are not losing your mind. You are going through a challenging time. It sounds as if this phenomena has been with you for some time but that the past year things have become more difficult. Would you say that is true and in your opinion do you think the blocks you are experiencing relate to this one man? How strongly does your dead relative feature in communications and are you aware of any other spirits that are similarly speaking to you?
I will try and scan your energy field again today and see what I can find.
PeggySeptember 3, 2020 at 8:19 am #366054
Don’t criticize yourself. Work towards a positive self image. List all the good things about yourself and any good things others have said about you. Spend two or three weeks really absorbing the special qualities you possess. There is no-one else like you. Any time you need to make a major decision on the way forward, do some brainstorming. Divide a sheet of paper into two columns – For Decision – Against Decision. It usually becomes quite clear which route to take. It may not be perfect but sometimes any decision is better than no decision.
Letting go could have two interpretations. 1) Letting go of past hurts and relationships 2) Letting go of tensions and learning to relax, tensions meaning muscular tensions. Such tensions are frequently a result of negative thought patterns manifesting in the body.
Problems and situations are always helped by positive thinking. Don’t focus on the problems, focus on the solutions. Positive action will help alleviate depression. None of us has a crystal ball that can predict the future. Sometimes, you just have to ‘go for it’. Things rarely work out as we think they will. It won’t necessarily be better or worse, it will just be different.
80% of what we worry about doesn’t happen, so what is the point of worrying when all it does is create tensions in the head, neck and shoulder area. You can apply the ‘STOP’ technique. Whenever you catch yourself with a thought that isn’t going to benefit you say ‘STOP’. Literally stop yourself from thinking negatively.
Finally, don’t dwell on the past or be overly concerned about the future. Live in the NOW. Be grateful for all that you have in your life today. Think of ten things and give thanks each and every night as you settle down to sleep e.g. a toothbrush, a pair of shoes, a roof over your head, a comfortable bed and so on.
Keep the good memories. Always.
PeggySeptember 1, 2020 at 8:15 am #365936
Carolyn has given you a very good reply. What does ‘honoring your truth’ mean? What is the truth of you? I think that this is being true to the person that you are so who are you? Who are you when you strip away all the conditioning we all suffer from? What is the essence of you? What do you want? There are things we think we want (logical process) but if we put our hands on our hearts and ask the question “how does this feel”, we could come up with an entirely different answer. If you want to be happy, follow your heart.
When dealing with the Law of Attraction, be aware that you may not get what you want immediately. You may have to go through a few hurdles first. You may have to give something up before something new can enter that space.
I hope I’ve given you something to think about.
PeggySeptember 1, 2020 at 7:50 am #365935
How awful for you that you have lost both your best friend and your fiance to each other, and so close to your split. It sounds to me that you are really so much better off without them and that neither of them deserved you. I agree wholeheartedly with Marie and MochaB. Your physical sensation of grief and feeling that you can hardly breathe suggests that this has impacted on your chest/heart area so make sure that you intentionally send love to this area. Reclaim that which you have given to others and give it to yourself instead. When you have filled your heart with self love, let it flow to every other area of your body.
You say that this loss is triggering past traumas. Let those traumas come up and then release them. I know this is a painful process but it will serve you well in the long run. The emotion you attached to the events is the part that causes the problem. Taking some time to examine them, releasing the emotions that come up, forgiving anyone that you need to forgive including yourself where appropriate will go a long way towards healing yourself.
You will come through this. Stay strong and let your light shine.
PeggyAugust 31, 2020 at 2:37 am #365873
Hello Rose of Yellow,
Aquarius is seen as the humanitarian sign and, as it is planetary, everyone will feel its force sooner or later. People will be elected into power according to their desire to look after the health and well being of all of us rather than their desire to create wealth and power for themselves or for their Country. This may not happen during this current election but it will happen eventually.
The right Leader will show up at the right time. The Universe will create it. Perhaps it already has.
Continue to pray for responsible leadership who hold truth and integrity in high esteem and one day it will become a reality. Meantime, I and thousands like me, will continue to send out our healing thoughts and deeds on a daily basis and help create that better world we are all hoping for.
PeggyAugust 30, 2020 at 11:39 am #365842
Thank you Anita. Much appreciated.