Forum Replies Created
August 16, 2019 at 1:30 pm #308259
For most people, the majority of tension is held in the neck, shoulders, head – furrowed brow, grinding teeth, jaw may be jutting out, constricted blood vessels leading to headaches. Some people may begin with tension predominantly in their abdomen but eventually, if left unattended, a chain reaction is set up in the body and to a greater or lesser degree, any and all areas of the body can be affected once the areas of tension have become established. Shoulders frequently carry emotional burdens which weigh us down and possibly originates in the individual not having been supported very well emotionally. The closing in of the shoulders can also be a way of protecting the heart (not very efficiently) but our body does the best it can at the time.
Negative thoughts create negative emotions. Positive thoughts create positive emotions. I am sure that we have abstract thoughts which can come and go without having any significant impact on the body because they are neutral. Ultimately, we need to be aiming for balance so wherever we are on the positive/negative swing, it is relatively easy for us to return to the state of equilibrium.
Thoughts (Brow Center) vibrate at a higher rate than emotions (Sacral Center) and if action taken refers to physical action then I’m guessing that the Root Center (lowest vibration) would be involved.
Healing is far easier to carry out than discuss as it is such a vast subject and our bodies have such an amazing capacity to self heal. Healers are really just facilitators of the self healing process and whatever healing energy is received by the client will be distributed and prioritized by the intelligent force operating within.
I will respond to your question on how can healing impact on thoughts/neurological pathways later. I think the most probable answer lies in a scientific explanation which I will do some research on.
I wasn’t expecting to enter into this kind of communication either but it’s good for me to refresh my memory in this way and even though I know what healing can achieve, I still find it awesome.
PeggyAugust 16, 2019 at 9:41 am #308227
You are describing a small child aged 7 who became her mother’s carer responsible for her health and well being. You don’t say how old she was when her disability emerged but you do say that you have a sister. What role has she played in all this? You also say that you have no education other than ….. I am impressed with your Batchelor of Science and Arts Degree, concentration in chemistry and psychology. This sounds as if you have a very good brain. You have also listed all the things that you have learned during the course of caring for your mother. These are all big plus points in some professions should you ever want to look for a job in Caring or Counselling. These are all things that can be built upon. One of the problems is that you have sacrificed your own needs for the needs of your mother and she hasn’t been appreciative or even been aware of how much this has cost you on a personal level. I am also wondering whether you grieved for your father through all this turmoil.
You really do need to find a way of taking a break so that your caring role isn’t all that is in your life. Can your mother be left on her own for an afternoon, say? Can she have someone else in to care for her sometimes? Just taking a short break can sometimes recharge our batteries. Can you join a group which practices Mindfulness/Meditation/Yoga/Tai Chi? All these things will help you get back in touch with yourself.
Hope this helps in some small way.
PeggyAugust 16, 2019 at 8:49 am #308219
You say that your boyfriend has always flirted in your company around other women which chips away at your self confidence. He is now flirting in your place of work with another woman making you feel uncomfortable and arousing feelings of anger and hatred which you are working to overcome through meditation. The boundaries between working and personal life will be crossed if your boyfriend takes this person up on her offer and socializes with her.
Being passive in this situation is a choice that you are making. I think you need to discuss this with your boyfriend in a calm way by making “I” statements. For instance, “I feel uncomfortable when you flirt with other women in my company” or “I feel disrespected when ….. ” or “I feel angry/hurt/upset when………..”
I think you will know by his reaction whether or not he cares that you are upset. If he doesn’t give you some kind of assurance that he will modify his behavior, then take that as a sign to move on.
PeggyAugust 16, 2019 at 2:44 am #308177
I have spent over 20 years as a Healer, Spiritual/Reiki/Seichem and also have qualifications in Stress Counselling. The majority of tension is held in the head, neck and shoulder areas. Tension refers to muscular tension so you are right in saying that I can pick up on that through my hands, and being ill at ease affects our posture, the way we walk, the way we carry ourselves, our spine. You are now thinking like a healer. If we were able to release all of our negative emotions, we would all be a lot healthier. This is exactly why I became so passionate about the subject.
With regard to emotions, everything is energy. We are always in a constant state of movement. A doctor puts his finger on the pulse to check for movement. Feelings, which are on the level of the Sacral Center, are governed by the element of water. Quote: “The Sacral Center is at the level of the sacrum on the spine. At this level we have the experience of fluidity in ourselves. This is called the element of water. The idea of energy being experienced as the principle of fluidity may seem a little mystifying at first sight to the student. We have to adjust to the idea of energy in ourselves at these different levels being experienced as different kinds of consciousness or elements.” The author goes on to say that this water element covers things like urine, semen, joint lubrication, sweat, saliva. That the sense of taste is only possible because of the element of water (saliva).
I might also add that sadness produces tears and people talk of “drowning their sorrows” as a way of dealing with their negative emotions. Also, the digestive system begins in the mouth (saliva) and most of us can probably relate to comfort eating as a way of dealing with our feelings.
The fight/flight/freeze response (how we respond to a perceived danger) causes adrenalin to be released into the body which I believe is responsible for producing reactions such as pounding heart and possibly even blushing which you mentioned.
The energy in motion which creates feelings of calm and relaxation is the breath. This is the air element which relates to the Heart Center. This covers the chest and lungs and also relates to the sense of touch. Too much energy in the heart center creates anxiety (back to the heart pounding). Energy follows thought. Thought creates. Everything in creation had to be thought about first. Einstein (and others) noted that matter is thought vibrating at a lower frequency. He has also been reported as saying that if he hadn’t developed his theory of relativity someone else would have done as the idea was in the air. In relationship to our body, our Root Center is our lowest vibrating Center and relates to Earth – the lower the vibration, the denser the matter (teeth, bones, nails).
I’m sure that this text might have thrown up some new ways of exploring the link between our thoughts and feelings and the intricate nature of the human body. Awesome.
PeggyAugust 15, 2019 at 9:42 am #308113
Depending on how Reiki is taught, the system allows for the placement of several hand positions on the body which would run from the top of the head to the bottom of the feet, both front and back, whilst the client is fully clothed. As a healer becomes more experienced they may chose to select which hand positions they believe would have the optimum effect. The client, however, may prefer not to be touched and all healers should respect that and work with their hands away from the body. Also, I find that if the hands are placed directly on the body, there is less awareness of what is happening in the auric field where the seven different levels are present. Disease (ill at ease) can happen in the auric field long before it reaches the physical level and becomes a medical condition. I would normally commence a treatment by putting my hands on the client’s shoulders for a couple of minutes to attune myself to their energy field and work from there, sometimes with my hands on the person and sometimes away.
Every body is different and every energy field is different so I was giving a general indication of where the emotional body may exist in relation to the physical body and how I would detect and treat imbalances on that particular level. I would look to treat my clients on all levels, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual as everything that happens to us has an impact on all levels even if we are not aware of it.
Healers have a code of conduct to abide by and they are not allowed to diagnose conditions or promise cures. If medical evidence is presented then the healer would have a clear indication of main areas to be treated but would not necessarily only treat those areas as there could be other weaknesses that have not been detected.
I need to come back to you on the subject of emotional energy when I’ve had some time to put this into some form of logical context.
PeggyAugust 15, 2019 at 3:08 am #308075
Hi Anita and Kylin,
I only recently read a book which referred to “The Pain Body” so it was a term that I was not really familiar with. I am more comfortable with referring to it as “The Emotional Body”. Healers think of the body as being surrounded by seven levels of energy fields, the first level relates to the physical, the second level relates to the emotional. All healers find the way of healing that suits them best but I probably work at about 9″ from the physical body and can detect an imbalance either through a feeling of “heat” or “cold”. If you think of your energy field like a giant egg surrounding your whole body, the blockage could exist potentially at any point on that sphere where the emotional/pain body exists. I would either introduce heat into a cold spot or draw out heat from a hot spot. In practical terms, this is all done with my hands. However, intuition, sensitivity, experience, belief, intent and knowledge all play a major role in achieving a successful outcome.
If someone was to physically injure themselves or have an operation, I would then be working closer to the body to speed up wound healing and similarly, if someone was in low spirits I could be working an arm’s length away from the body. It is frequently necessary to work on more than one level during the same treatment.
It is never easy to describe how exactly healing works but healers seem to have found a way of tapping into an electrical frequency conducive to healing (7-8Hz typically). I am quoting here “when a person is sick, one or more of the organs of the sick person’s body will have biomagnetic frequencies not in the healthy range for those organs”.
I hope this goes some way towards answering your questions. I will do my best to answer any more that may occur to you.
PeggyAugust 15, 2019 at 1:21 am #308073
The spirit never dies. It just leaves the body when death comes and unites with other spirit that have already passed. ‘They’ being loved ones wait for you on the other side to greet you. There are countless anecdotes from people who have had near death experiences who can verify this and testify to it not having been the right time for them to leave their earthly existence.
That heavy pack will be made lighter by sharing the load. Taking time to express your thoughts in writing them down is time well spent. Even if you don’t want to share them with this forum, there is always someone willing to listen. Shine a light on your darkest thoughts and see them for what they are – just thoughts. Shadows are not created without the sun. The sun is there whether you choose to see it or not.
One last thought – just because someone else has placed burdens upon you, it doesn’t mean you have to carry them forever. The road to health and well being lays in letting go of all the mental/emotional issues that are not serving you very well and living in the present. Ramble away with a backpack full of healthy, nutritious food and drink and perhaps a compass to guide you to a safe haven of light and love.
PeggyAugust 14, 2019 at 6:48 am #307867
Anita has written you some very intensive posts on Mindfulness and I agree entirely with living in the NOW and being aware that this is the only time we have. Thank you, Anita, for sharing the wisdom of those words. I have a very short poem which is easy to memorize: Yesterday’s history, Tomorrow’s a mystery, Today is a gift, That’s why we call it The Present.
With regard to Reiki, this is a very gentle form of healing which can have a profound effect. It can effectively remove what Anita’s notes refer to as The Pain Body, areas that congest and stagnate the flow of energy. It works on all levels, mind, body, spirit and emotions and can transcend time and space. You might want to look at http://www.reiki.org and articles written by William Lee Rand in particular to gain a greater insight.
I hope that’s helpful.
PeggyAugust 14, 2019 at 5:47 am #307861
You say that when your father passed away you were looking for a new family. Do you have any siblings/mother in your life? As you’ve found out, a new relationship does not dissolve the pain and loss that you felt and still feel at your father’s passing. You had a life whilst your father was alive and you cannot invalidate that because he is no longer with you. That part of your life will always exist and it will be carried with you wherever you go (even when you run away). Change is an inevitable part of life. Denial is the opposite of acceptance. Perhaps you could locate a bereavement counsellor to help you come to terms with your loss.
Why are you even considering breaking up with your boyfriend who has been loving and supportive of you and who you love in return? Underneath it all, do you have doubts about this relationship? You are already living at a distance from him and that should give you some space to find your own identity and explore your own feelings. You say it “hasn’t been too bad” yet it seems to have pressed some uncomfortable buttons for you which may also come under the heading of “loss”.
Lists: Boyfriend – loving, supportive, wonderful, caring, quality, laughter, kind, wants the best for you 100%.
Lists: Girlfriend – wants to give it all up so that she can be free thinking, independent, introspective, contemplate the inevitability of change, work on herself exclusively, and have a normal life with the new and improved variety of self.
I am the greatest advocate of nurturing the inner self but the fact remains that if you want relationships in your life you have to interact. Only you can decide whether you want to make the journey of self discovery with him or without him.
PeggyAugust 13, 2019 at 4:28 am #307747
You and your husband have different religious beliefs – ideally you should each be accepting the other’s choice. This includes his parents. Your husband chose to marry you knowing you had those differences of opinion and in that respect he should be standing up for you. Unfortunately, his parents have coerced him into attempting to influence the children into their belief system. This will only make the children more adamant that they want nothing to do with it.
The fact that your husband and his family indulge themselves in negativity towards you is not of your making. You are not responsible for the way they choose to see you. He is always finding fault with you and creating hurt and upset and then has the audacity to tell you that you are not a wife he can be proud of because of what happened before you met him. If you are not a wife that he can be proud after 18 years of marriage, then you need to leave. Pronto!
His behavior is having a massive impact on the children. They are far happier with your parents than his. They feel free. I suggest you remove your self imposed “gag of loyalty” and have a long discussion with your loving parents and seriously discuss your future living arrangements. You deserve to be free of your malicious husband.
PeggyAugust 12, 2019 at 9:37 am #307655
If only ……..you could turn the clock back and not lash out at his parents when they were bullying you, you would get married to this family and live miserably ever after with them dictating terms forever more to you and your imaginary children. This is not a relationship in which you could have lived happily ever after or could you?
Your fiance was cheating on you. Isn’t it better that you found that out before you married him?
This is not a question of religion. They are not more well blessed than you because they are Catholic. His mother did not want her son moving away from her or you coming between them and the control they have over him. Why should you give up all your hopes, all your ambitions and all your dreams purely to fit in with his family? Marriage is about compromise not submission. So what if he’s found someone the family approve of and who, for the time being, will be just what they want him to have. Everything changes.
Forgive yourself for being human. Support works both ways and he was not supporting you. Long distance relationships might work sometimes but for the most part they don’t. The fact that he is blocking and unblocking you is just a red herring. It doesn’t really matter what his motives might be when you know the relationship is over. Regardless of where he stands on the ‘love’ chart, he doesn’t feel enough for you to continue being your fiance.
I understand that you are feeling very hurt at his behavior towards you but you don’t need all the answers to have closure. You weren’t right for each other. It’s that simple.
Physically shutting the door on this relationship is closure. Put a mental picture in your head of him standing one side of the door and you standing the other. Mentally, say your goodbyes and close the door on him and then proceed to open a door to your new life without him.
PeggyAugust 10, 2019 at 11:57 pm #307527
Sounds as if you’ve worked it out.
PeggyAugust 10, 2019 at 11:48 pm #307525
Feelings happen whether we want them to or not. Close friendships contain love. Your love has turned ‘sour’. You are bitter towards your friend who has a life independent of you. She has chosen to date a man whom she considers more than a friend. You have given us all a message that you don’t want to be more than a friend to her so I’m guessing that you have also given your friend that message.
Your friend feels ready to move on. It might work out with this man that she is seeing or it might not. There are no certainties but it is better to try and fail, than never to try at all. She might be learning some valuable lessons from him and you might be learning some valuable lessons from her. Instead of thinking she might get hurt, think that she might get happy.
Think about this. You don’t want her but you don’t want anyone else to want her either. That’s how it seems. It’s interfering with your relationship with her and you don’t like it. Losing people you care about is hard – it hurts!
PeggyAugust 10, 2019 at 8:11 am #307415
It becomes confusing when you put forward more than one post at the same time. Regardless of which one of you wanted this trip, I think you should take some control and cancel. You’ve shared and talked in the past, you haven’t always been good friends to each other, things have been rocky, you’ve lost someone close to you.
Send her a text saying you are cancelling the trip. You are not in a good place. It’s not her, it’s you and you can’t deal with it right now.
PeggyAugust 10, 2019 at 7:46 am #307413
Your last message says everything that you need to say. You have done as much as you can to keep this friendship alive. Now you have to let it go. Accept that she no longer wants to be your friend and move on. You do not need to give anything more to this friendship – it is over! It doesn’t have to make sense to you for it to be over. It makes sense in her head and that is all that matters to her.
As I said in my earlier post, focus your energies on other friends, hobbies, interests and activities. Be so busy that you’ll barely notice that she hasn’t contacted you.