Dear Lost soul:

That kindest smile that therapist gave you, I wish you received that kind of smile from your mother, your father, your siblings, when you were a child. If you received that kind of smile and no interruptions of criticism and aggression, there would be no Lost in your username.

Words do hurt, thank you for expressing empathy for me.

You wrote earlier and yesterday: “I still doubt my reality. Everyone else (my siblings) function just fine; I’m the one who can never get things together… Most people usually have two parents criticizing and correcting them. But I has four people on my case ALL the time”-

– I suppose they owe their functional lives to you, receiving criticism and aggression from their parents, they passed those on to you, freeing themselves from the distress that led you (not having had an outlet yourself, someone to pass it on to) to learned helplessness.

You wrote earlier about your parents: “they fed, sheltered, and clothed me. But they didn’t bother to understand me, guide me, give me hope and encouragement, or make me feel wanted and valued“.

I have a question to you, one to which I have my own answer, but would like to know yours, not only a yes or a no, but if you would like, elaborate on it:

When parents feed, shelter and clothe their child and take away the child the following: hope, courage, the feeling of being wanted and valued, are they doing the child any favors, meaning, is it worth it, for the child?

anita