Dear alizee2007:

Our feelings can be so powerful, so moving, that we believe what we feel is really happening, or will happen, because we feel it. Feelings can be very convincing, as a matter of fact, nothing is more convincing than feelings. Let’s see what you wrote: “the moment I saw him.. I felt peace, friendship and a feeling that I have known him forever”-

– the moment you saw him for the first time in your life, there was no friendship (you just met him). And you didn’t know him forever (… you just met him).

You wrote: “We meet each other 1-2 times every few weeks and developed a beautiful friendship. I miss him so much in between our professional meetings”- you meet him rarely, only once or twice every few weeks and those meetings are professional meetings.

The “beautiful friendship” is in your mind and heart, maybe not in his mind and heart. In his experience, you may be one of a few nice work colleagues that he enjoys talking to.

“I often fantasize about him being my beloved husband (sometimes, daydreaming seems so real!)”- I can relate. I used to have such elaborate daydreams about romantic love, for hours. Everything I wanted happened in those daydreams, what a stark contrast to reality that was!

When you first met him, soon after, “the first thought that came to my mind when I woke up was ‘I think I just met my husband!”.

You asked: “do you have any suggestions on how to let  go of this obsession of wanting to be in a love relationship with him?”- find out what is in his mind and heart. Maybe, just maybe his sexual/ romantic orientation is not geared toward women at all. That will probably kill your obsession on the spot, won’t it? Or maybe he believes and practices open relationships only, that may rain on your parade of fantasy about him big time, won’t it?

anita