Hi VLC90

You don’t sound ready for a such a major step and long term commitment as marriage.  You had doubts about your ex-boyfriend so you called it off and now you have doubts about your current boyfriend.  Discussion of marriage happened and then suddenly what – if only………….it was my ex boyfriend I was marrying!

You don’t need an expensive therapist to tell you that if you are having all these doubts now, your relationship doesn’t have a chance of succeeding.  You can’t turn your boyfriend into someone you want him to be.  He has his own strengths and weaknesses just like you do.

Encourage him to work on his self esteem issues by all means but be aware that change brings change – there’s no way of knowing what that will do to your relationship.

Meantime, put all marriage plans on hold until you are fully ready and able to commit 100% because you know he’s the right person for you.

Peggy