Hey Kkasxo,

For sure, like Shelby’s concerned about, there’s a natural limit. A good friend had her first child at 42 last year but yeah, if you want to have biological children, women don’t have as long as men.  You got more time than you think – yours is a different concern in that you are ready and wanting to go there soon and he just isn’t in that space.

Out of curiousity – do you think he’s ready to be a dad, even if he doesn’t? Do you see yourself getting the support and help you’d want? I see the marriage thing as not really an issue, I know it’s something you want which is obviously fair enough but it really doesn’t change anything in reality apart from legally. You get unmarried couples more committed and happy than married couples, marriage doesn’t create real long-term commitment, just legal rights.  But having kids with someone is defn a huge step and given how much you guys have been through I’m kinda glad that even you’d want to wait until end 2020 to give yourselves some time to see if it is working and he is committed and in a good place to support you.

Sounds like you are working it through well enough. Couldn’t agree more on your last point. When you’ve been through and survived your worst, you just know you can do it again if you have to. Well done on being brave enough to think about what you have to do, either way.