Thank you both for your input.

I feel like the struggle is to know how to move forward now. I feel static like i’m going to make a misstep or go too far in the wrong direction. I now have no-one to include in that decision. Every decision or direction we took, we took together. I did in faith that she would always be with me.

When we met up the last time for a drink and a talk. It was evident that she was focusing on her photography business and dating people and sleeping with women after only two months. It makes me feel like it couldn’t have been that important to her, but I’m still losing one of the most crucial parts of my life. If she could keep something like that so well hidden and abandon me while dealing with my parents splitting as well, did I even know her?

I can’t even imagine dating or sleeping with someone new. Doesn’t even seem like its going to be possible. Feel pretty trashed and like she’s probably glad she can fix her mistake of being with me. She always had plenty to say about my flaws so now she’s probably laughing at me right now.