Dear Ron:

You wrote that when she mentioned the guy in her multiplayer game, “for couple of mins I felt pissed, jealous all sort of feelings“-

what to do:

1. Take personal responsibility for those feelings (the italicized), meaning: you believe your girlfriend is trustworthy and that there is no basis in reality to think that she is cheating on you. Therefore, even though you feel these feelings, don’t blame her for these feelings. Don’t tell her, for example: you are making me jealous! Say instead: I feel jealous even though I trust you. It  is not anything you did wrong.

2. Don’t behave in controlling and disrespectful ways, such as invading her privacy or demanding that she plays only with females on those multi player games, and/ or interrogating her: where did you go? who did you speak  with? etc.

3. Explore the origin of these feelings: when did you notice first these feelings, go back to earlier than this relationship. Go as far back as your childhood. You may have been jealous then of a parent paying more attention to  a sibling, for example. Share with me if you want to figure out the origin of these “all sort of feelings” and we’ll take it from there.

anita