Dear Annie. I am sorry you have been going through so much hurt. I have been through something similar. I was a very closed person and my boyfriend was the first person I opened up to. So the break up was the greatest loss I suffered.

Reading your words I can understand that there is a strong connection between being lonely in your childhood and feeling the same as an adult. Anita rightly says you need to solve this in your heart because the lessons we don’t learn, keep repeating themselves. See, all things in the world are lessons and nothing. I believe this guy in your life has come as a lesson that you need to get over your fear of not being able to have intimacy. Because you were able to have one with him, you can have it with your other friends too. And inherent in this lesson is the letting go of the fear of losing the only person you are close to. How do you let go of this fear? Because you are going through it and whatever has hurt us ones, can’t hurt as again. That’s what experience is all about.

Coming to this guy, I think what’s most hurtful is that he believed his friends more than he believed you, not even equal to that. I don’t think you should be in a relationship where the person can get swayed with what someone else says and where you are not given the love and trust you so truly deserve. You told him you wanted to be friends with him after the breakup. And although the guy seems ok with the idea, he seems to be putting no effort in the direction, making you feel unloved and needy. No person who truly loves you, would put you in such a situation of being apologetic and weak.

I think this comes as a lesson to you about how much you need to love and respect yourself like the guy and everyone else does. I am not asking you to despise him because everyone is at a different level of evolution and his lessons will come to him when they have to. Thank him instead, really. For now, you need to understand that the guy doesn’t see you the way you see him. Perhaps, he loves you, but that is different from the way you love him. And we truly have a choice about how we want to love and how we want to be loved- both of you have this choice. So don’t compromise and shy away from the fact that you need security and trust in your relationship. At the same time, work on yourself by finding a hobby or a passion, making new friends, trust people who deserve your trust. There are people in this world who can be trusted. Look and you will find. Resonate at that energy level and people will come to you. And if nothing, God has your back, no matter what. You truly deserve all the love and respect in the world. May God bless you.

Love,

Anu