"Once a student, always a student."
Forum Replies Created
September 29, 2019 at 10:48 pm #315089
Great to know that, Connie. Wish you all the best.September 29, 2019 at 7:00 am #314963
Dear Grenada. I don’t know what miracle you are waiting for. But I sincerely wish it happens.
Miracles in our lives depend on what we believe miracles to be. We are alive in this moment, itself is a miracle. That you beat millions of sperms to get this life, that you are better than so many others who are suffering from something much more grave, is a miracle. We should be thankful for the miracles that happen to us in every moment.
Yet, I understand that sometimes we hit a wall from where no breakthrough seems to come. There are things in this world which science cannot have a solution for. For example- an incurable disease. And that’s why we turn to god. For god is nothing but the only source of hope when there is none. Miracles therefore are a thing of God. The life that you are living has been given to you by him and he is the only hope for miracle in the situation of an impasse.
There have been miracles in this world. This is the reason why they created this word, for there was no explanation for some things that happened. If you research a bit, there are saints in India who perform miracles. And that is beyond any magic that logic can explain. I have see one with my own eyes. Not that these guys are more powerful. All of us as humans have been bestowed with some potential we are unaware of. If we cleanse our conscience and submit to god/ connect with the universe, miracles happen. I myself have been experiencing synchronicity multiple times a day. I sincerely believe, anyone who goes deeper into spirituality has the power to do miracles.
I don’t know if this, what they call law of attraction, will work for everything in life. Because, at the end of the day, Karma is the supreme law at work. And therefore, sometimes, things just don’t work out the way we wish. I have a sister who has schizophrenia. There is no overcoming it in this life. I wish for a miracle, it doesn’t happen, but I still have a strong belief in it, even if it doesn’t happen in this case. So, miracles are nothing but breakthroughs we have in our Karmic accounts. All we can do is create the best Karma and pray to God, have faith in him. God bless.
AnuSeptember 29, 2019 at 6:59 am #314955
Dear Grenada. I am a little surprised to see someone who helps out others a lot, asking for guidance. 🙂 However, I understand that everyone has their own issues and need to look outwards sometimes.
First of all, let’s go to the core of the problem which is the social media reminding you of someone. Well, I don’t know who that someone is, but I went through this after my first breakup. I don’t know if it’s the best solution, but what I did was:
1. I went off social media for about good 6 months.
2. Did I feel withdrawal symptoms? Not of the social media as much, but of not being able to know the whereabouts of the person.
3. I would login in a day or two, then weeks to check. And I slowly got over the urge.
4. How? Not just by restraining myself, but also by getting busy in my first job where I was doing something related to what I was really passionate about. By being among people who were caring and loving.
5. Most importantly, I gradually started to put away all the things that reminded me of him, both offline and online.
6. I met a new person who gradually filled up that emptiness I had after this person went away.
Secondly, social media can bring in a lot of anxiety and negativity if used too much and not used the right way.
What can you do?
1.The first step is what you have rightly decided- Go offline! We all need a break!
2. There will be some withdrawal symptoms initially but hang on and it will be better with time
3. Going off social media doesn’t mean stop being social. Talk to the ones who love you. Stay in touch with your friends. In fact it’s great time to give more time to such people and listen to their issues and help them out. Don’t just wait wondering those who need you would reach out. Sometimes, others need someone to reach out to them too.
4. Engage yourself in some hobby or activity. It will not only keep you busy but will affect your brain positively by making you learn something each day and get better at it. You will be proud of yourself
5. After some time, you may decide to be back. Sometime could mean as long as you wish. It could be a week, a month, an year!
6. Social media although isn’t the best thing, it’s not that bad at all. After you decide to come back, limit the time and interval at which you use it.
Here’s a list of social media hygiene you can try:
– Mind the clock
– Switch off the notifications. Check manually when you have to
-Don’t use it immediately after waking up and just before sleeping. Spoils your morning and sleep.
– Limit your interaction with people who make you feel positive
– Unsubscribe from negative accounts. Unfriend people if needed
– Post less. Don’t await likes and approvals. Social media is a world full of narcissism. The ones who really care are around you, not on the internet. You just have to see.
Congratulations that you have decided to fight your anxiety and are bold enough to go off social media. Seeing your replies to others posts, I know that you are a very strong person and you shall work this all out.
God bless you.
AnuSeptember 29, 2019 at 6:59 am #314953
Dear Annie. I am sorry you have been going through so much hurt. I have been through something similar. I was a very closed person and my boyfriend was the first person I opened up to. So the break up was the greatest loss I suffered.
Reading your words I can understand that there is a strong connection between being lonely in your childhood and feeling the same as an adult. Anita rightly says you need to solve this in your heart because the lessons we don’t learn, keep repeating themselves. See, all things in the world are lessons and nothing. I believe this guy in your life has come as a lesson that you need to get over your fear of not being able to have intimacy. Because you were able to have one with him, you can have it with your other friends too. And inherent in this lesson is the letting go of the fear of losing the only person you are close to. How do you let go of this fear? Because you are going through it and whatever has hurt us ones, can’t hurt as again. That’s what experience is all about.
Coming to this guy, I think what’s most hurtful is that he believed his friends more than he believed you, not even equal to that. I don’t think you should be in a relationship where the person can get swayed with what someone else says and where you are not given the love and trust you so truly deserve. You told him you wanted to be friends with him after the breakup. And although the guy seems ok with the idea, he seems to be putting no effort in the direction, making you feel unloved and needy. No person who truly loves you, would put you in such a situation of being apologetic and weak.
I think this comes as a lesson to you about how much you need to love and respect yourself like the guy and everyone else does. I am not asking you to despise him because everyone is at a different level of evolution and his lessons will come to him when they have to. Thank him instead, really. For now, you need to understand that the guy doesn’t see you the way you see him. Perhaps, he loves you, but that is different from the way you love him. And we truly have a choice about how we want to love and how we want to be loved- both of you have this choice. So don’t compromise and shy away from the fact that you need security and trust in your relationship. At the same time, work on yourself by finding a hobby or a passion, making new friends, trust people who deserve your trust. There are people in this world who can be trusted. Look and you will find. Resonate at that energy level and people will come to you. And if nothing, God has your back, no matter what. You truly deserve all the love and respect in the world. May God bless you.
AnuSeptember 29, 2019 at 6:59 am #314947
Just read the thread. Sorry for coming in the middle of the conversation. But I felt the compulsion to write to you.
It is quite normal to doubt if you are good enough when a relationship breaks. I have been through it. However, know that although we must strive to improve ourselves and be the best version of ourselves, we can’t be the best version of what someone expects us to be. For everyone has a different idea of what the best is.
Yes, men do freak out from commitments but know that the one who truly loves you and is meant for you will not. Even if he does, he will be absolutely communicative about it because he knows you care and he can’t keep you hanging in the middle with absolutely no clue about what’s happening.
In this case, the guy, with all due respect, seems to be struggling with some emotional and possibly mental issues. It is obvious that you want him to be back because you truly love him even after all that has happened. Be by his side and wait if you wish but meanwhile, know that you are complete in every way for God has made you so and will not fall apart if it doesn’t work out. We sometimes go through confusing relationships which don’t work out because they are not meant to work out. There is a lesson in each relationship and may be the lesson is his and you are just playing a part. God knows!
Even if the relationship works out and if the guy is going through some mental issues, will you be happy in the relationship? I think not!.So just trust in the God and universe that whatever is the best for you shall happen. And whatever is the best for the guy too. Pray for both of you and God shall take care of the rest. You deserve all the love in the world because you are god’s child. May god bless you.