Dear Karen:

The information you shared helps me come up with possibilities as to explain his cruel and rude behavior toward you. These are only possibilities:

1. According to the Muslim religion, which he “expressed that he would someday soon become serious about” – unless it changed, and I don’t think it changed- premarital sex is a huge sin and virgin women are the only option for a devout Muslim man if marriage is to be considered. Women who are not virgins are of little value. In that case, he may have treated you badly because .. you are not a virgin, not marriage material, according to his religion.

2. Even though he spoke fondly of his mother who  was stern with him and about his father who was “very strict” with him and beat him up, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t angry with them. A child gets automatically angry when beaten. No matter the age- we get beaten-> we get angry, immediately.

So he was angry with either one of his parents, or both. He doesn’t feel the anger at them anymore (the fact that they both died helps in not feeling angry at them), but the anger is still there and he expressed it against you.

Also, I am guessing his father beat the other siblings. In families where beating by the parents is practiced, siblings turn against siblings, beating them  up. Him being the baby of the family means that maybe his older siblings, or a few of them, beat him as well.

– do you know why his parents and two siblings died early?

anita