Hi Valora and Anita,

The longest I did not talk to him was about 2-3 weeks. He usually comes back saying he misses me and thinks about me and wants to be with me. But I cant just be with him, like he said we need to build the relationship back up but i cant build it back up when I hardly see him or think that he is just not going to talk to me again. Its a cycle.

I know that we are not truly together even if he says we are and then says we arent. I know that but it messes with me because its back and fourth. If in the process of us trying to build back up a relationship and hes seeing other people. I cannot be with him at all in anyway shape or form.

So his room is pretty messy and unorganized that is what leads me to believe it could have been from us but what also makes me doubt if thats true is… I remember weeks ago when i was over that I did see a box with like 3 condemns in it..now I see the empty box.

The thing is too is that the only reason we weren’t really speaking over those weeks is because I decided to not respond to him because he kept blowing off our plans or not taking the time to truly sit and talk with me. And it always appeared to be at his convenience when we would talk or see one another. ( I even expressed this to him.)  And when I did try to get him to talk to me he is always all over the place hes like yes I wanna be with you but then hes like we need to let things flow naturally. He always says that and im like we have been seeing each other for a few months now, usually someone knows if they want to be with someone. Therefore I ended it with him and then he comes back and then its the same exact cycle. It just makes me feel like I am waiting around or waiting for him to text or call me or come see me. It feels that way even if thats not his intent. I explained this to him and he tells me not to worry and whatever but it stresses me out because I cant tell if he actually wants to be together or not. Its so all over the place and i have tried to be so clear with him. I dont even no what to say to him at this point. I know he wants to go about it normally and act like everything is good. But thats hard for me to do when Im questioning constantly if he is either committing to me or not.

Last night for instance when he took me home when i asked him too, i felt so horrible about it all thinking im just “crazy” for thinking anything because he told me thats how I was acting. I then blocked him and unblocked him because I just kept feeling so many emotions! He texted me today and called me and asked if I blocked him because he tried to text me at one point. I told him no because I didnt wanna stir any more issues. He then texted me saying his text are going through now and i Just said ok and he said yeah strange..so I think he knows..but I let it go and didnt say anything else. Its hard for me to speak with him as if everything is happy go lucky, its hard to spend time with him now after all of this because i lack the trust of knowing about other girls or knowing where he wants to go with this.

I hope that makes sense? I am just so hurt and exhausted from all of this, I dont really know what to say or think.

Thank you