thank you for the response. Although i will feel this regret going forward, more rational feedback feels much more productive than the feedback i have gotten from the ones close to me that have told me in anger to “stop being depressed” or “are you pouting again today”

yes, this is partly about feeling like ive lost someone i connect with, but it is also about being in my current age range, and not having what i want when it comes to building a great relationship and family.

like i stated before, the hardest part for me, is that ive been content in all other aspects of life, and feel welcoming to the phase of building a family, it just doesnt seem to happen the way id imagine.

i know the girl i dated last had many issues that we discussed above, but in some sort of way, couldnt overcoming or “seeming to overcome” those at such an early age demonstrate character and strength in a potential partner? Again, we didnt spend full days, let alone every day together, so i did not get to see the behavior other than what she wanted me to see.

i do believe that a lot of my issue comes to the fact of being alone currently and not finding the partner that i seek, but why do i still feel regret after two months of leaving this person? She stated that she took me for my word when i ended it, as in that i did not see it going forward so she moved on based off of that idea, and that she thinks i hold regret only because i thought i could circle back around if i felt the need.

granted, she stated numerous times that “maybe another time things can be different”, but thats not something i think anyone should grasp snd hold on to. Im a firm believer that people do things they want to do, and seek out situations they want to be in. In some situations, people can hold grudges and be spiteful with stubbornness, but overall, forgiveness would take place if the person truly wanted me in their life.

i contemplated that, she “decided this wasnt for her” statement after she said so. She was fully wanting to move ahead with the relationship when we were still together, so basically the fact that i changed the terms and left cannot be forgotten?

these last two relationships i have been involved in have sent me on a very in depth search of self help and in major attempts to grow personally. I am human and have made many mistakes along the way, but have been refraining from the use of alcohol as much as possible to not cause any further depressing thoughts while i feel this way, been doing my best to help others in time of need, and looking for ways to keep busy. Ive been resisting the desire to have a quick hook up in order to feel better because that never makes me feel better. Im just very impatient to find the relationship i desire in order to achieve the family goal.