My past threads has been based on my opinion and views which arent always accurate readings of the situation. There is too sides to the story which he tries his best to make clear when we both in a good place. No couple is perfect and no person is going to be perfect either. I am not a ranting raging woman at all. I am actually very passive and calm even in moments not many people would be calm about. I am extremely loving, open minded and I forgive easily, especially because I know he is struggling at times with things he and I may not quite understand. He speaks to a friend of his and expresses his lostness and emotions that he battles with and most of the time it’s got nothing to do with me, he struggles with depression, he procrastinates and battles to finish things he started, now I mentioned alot of this on my thread but this is not what I say to him on a regular basis. I always encourage him and support him when I notice his back into a dark place. He at times blurs the lines between his own mind and emotions and projects his feelings into our relationship which isn’t always fair on me. The decision he and I made to always be there for one another still stands and I seems to always pick him up when his down. And I make sure he takes responsibility for his actions and decisions because at times even he agrees he does stupid shit which he tries hard to be a better person and achieve his goals. I have been a good influence in his life for a long time and he hates how his own baggage and problems starts pouring into our relationship and his progress in his career. he at times needs me to snap him out of it in a stern yet loving way. He respects me better now that I dont take nonsense from him and I also have more control over my emotions and insecurities. We are in a much better place, not perfect as he is still dealing with his self destructive patterns but we talk it through and we overcome situations together. My perspective of the relationship is very emotional driven and at times I to can exaggerate the situation that he may seems as small but that again is my problem is that at times I’m very sensitive and I let him know if his moods or attitude is causing me distress which he apologises for and we respect eachother for who we are and our growth. We have a clothing business together which we run from home, the issue is that he procrastinates and isn’t consistent with running our business so that has been frustrating me alot recently and I’m not in any way treating him different but im trying to get him to understand that our life needs structure and teamwork for us to run a successful business and home. He still trains but his been so lazy and stayed at home many times when hes supposed to be at the gym and he ends up hating himself for it so I try keep him consistent by motivating time and structure to his day but he tends to be very pessimistic and cant see how blessed he is and I try to make it clear to him cause he doesnt always see things clearly. I explain it to him this way. (You want a successful future as an Athlete you gotta be consistent in the gym, if you want to run a successful business you need to make time to handle the business needs, if you want a happy relationship you need to put in effort. But if you arent training at the gym, not selling clothes for our business, not helping me clean the house or cooks meals then what are you doing?) This kind of harsh conversation usually only happens when he is being very hard on me and looking for faults in his life when in reality it’s all in his mind because he has a partner who is loving, understanding, patient, forgiving and helps him with almost everything, his life is everything that he makes of it and he can’t seems to see how wonderful things are for him because his self talk and insecurities cause him to be so pesimistic and self destructive. He agrees that he may need to go on a antidepressant and has admitted before that he use to find external ways to boost his confidence and happiness but now that he is a mature man he feels he had no father figure to teach him how to be a man and has nobody to ask advice when he needs it so I love my boyfriend and I forgive him over and over again because I understand he never had real guidance or a positive role model to look up to. The fact that he is doing his best all on his own and can eventually admit when his wrong is enough for me to have hope and be patient with him cause I truly want the best for him. Things may have been hard over the years and we had to overcome 3 breaks but it has genuinely matured us and made us stronger. We are very clear and transparent with eachother no manipulation or nonsense. Love is about accepting eachother for better or for worse and yes we both have alot of growing to do.