Dear noname:

“The hopelessness has always been there to try to keep me safe from continuing to reach out and take risks”- no, I think the hopelessness set because as the child that you were you did reach out to your parents repeatedly but you weren’t loved. You loved them but in practice, they didn’t love you back.

The hopelessness is not something that was formed to protect you, it was a result of your love not being reciprocated by the people you loved so desperately- your parents.

There is nothing more devastating for a child than to love and to not be loved in return, day after day, night after night, year after year.

Fast forward, the man that you are is still experiencing the same, to love and to not be loved in return.

For a different life experience: to love and to be loved in return, you have to really see where love does not exist for you. That way you will be able to look elsewhere, where love is yet to be had for you, to love and to be loved in return.

anita