Dear noname:

This bad feeling-state (“the same damn thing… hopeless, tired and lonely”) started early in your life, got established as a series of neurological- chemical processes in your brain, and it keeps going.

“The problem I’m running into right now is I don’t have any goals except to somehow feel better, which is vague”- it is always about feeling better, this is every animal’s motivation every day, all day long. You took  on a very long term project motivated to feel better, and that was to graduate and be certified to practice psychotherapy. You also took  on very short term “projects” to feel better: smoking weed, cutting, fast-paced sex/short pseudo-relationships.

Now you look back and you are out of projects, because you still feel bad, still experiencing the established physical- emotional experience maintained by existing neural- chemical activity.

It takes a whole lot to change that neural-chemical activity.

anita