Dear noname:

Being in the presence of your mother is not a good thing for you. Because still, in this very present time, Christmas 2019, her message to you is still: “no one can ever understand or possibly be in more pain than I am”.

So, you express to her that you are indeed in a lot of pain, enough pain be worthy of her attention: “crying alone for the past 3-4 hours… I can’t stop crying”. I know,  you are crying alone, but she is there with you in some form, her representative, and you are trying to show her that indeed your pain is great enough to be worthy of her respect and attention.

She is very competitive this way: her pain has to be the greatest of anyone’s. And for as long as she believes this is the case.. your pain..  has no case.

noname, really, there is nothing unusual about a man at any age, being still that boy who didn’t have his mother’s attention and love and craves it greatly. The boy in you wants his mother’s love (and father’s/ parental love). Others’ attention, love and appreciation doesn’t do it for you because (aware of it or not) the child in you is focused on just the one or two craved sources of love, his parents.

Tell me more, how you feel, what you think. I want to read from you more.

anita