Dear Oonagh:

To reach a state of mind where you live with your husband and no longer be bothered by him dating another woman, to give his dating a  neutral value, detaching completely from what is “tribal or dualistic”, that is, detaching from your past monogamous sentiment regarding your marriage, is easy to do in theory, but in real-life, it is very difficult because we are emotional beings, like other animals.

We are not robots who operate by logic alone. What motivates us is emotions. If we manage to mix in enough logic in our lives, that is wonderful. But we are primarily emotional, not logical.

When we feel something intensely, it is impossible to change how we feel simply by thinking this way or that way. It can work for a moment, feeling better or worse, thinking this way or that way, but an ongoing basis, an emotion that we felt consistently for a long time, that emotion persists.

anita