Dear Janus, Earth Angel and Poet:

Reads to me that you have a thorough understanding of transitioning and your expectations of the results are not unrealistic. Plus seeing a gender therapist for 3-6 months before being referred to a medical doctor for testosterone is encouraging, leading me to think that a good gender therapist will be very responsible in making sure the client knows all that needs to be known on the process, risks, consequences and expected results, as well as making sure the client is ready for the process and able to endure the difficult parts.

“I know that testosterone .. cause redistribution of fat in areas of the body.. I won’t have much of a chest”- but you will have some of a chest.

“testosterone therapy makes it easier to gain more muscle tone when working out”- easier, not  easy, and for  some, is it still difficult, I wonder.

“most transgender men who get testosterone therapy will grow facial hair.. they will look more masculine”- most transgenders, not all. And is more masculine, masculine enough.

“I think that it will help alleviate the gender dysphoria because I will have physical traits of a guy like deep voice, facial hair.. more toned when I workout”-  will you worry significantly less.

Testosterone increases the chances of strokes and heart disease and top and bottom surgeries have their own risks. I do imagine that without a female chest, you will feel so much more comfortable than you do now. I wish you loosened the binder so  that it is not that tight. Being so tight, it directs your focus to your chest, which is not a good idea. You need your focus away from it. At least in winter time, with loose clothing, why not wear a looser binder.

Transitioning is in the future because you don’t have the money now. For now, how can you make yourself feel more comfortable, I ask myself. I think that a looser binder can make you feel more comfortable, so that you are less focused on the area that troubles you so much. Caring less about what people think, what gender they think you are, will make you feel more comfortable. I wish you could somehow,  over some time, say something like this to yourself, when thinking about what people think of your gender: who cares?

Can you imagine that?

anita