Dear Katie:

I  just counted the number of threads you started here, since the first on December 11, 2017, a bit over two years ago: fifty seven threads.

Here are some of the titles of your threads that were about your boyfriend, in order of dates submitted: Help!!! My boyfriend liked another girl while dating me??/  How can I get him to change more?/ My boyfriend’s mom talked badly on me?/ Boyfriend left, life still sucks, I am still stupid, Do I leave him?/ Boyfriend broke up with me after saying he will change/ I hate my boyfriend’s sister/ My boyfriend (ex) is trying to ruin my life/ I finally broke up with my boyfriend and am unsure of how I feel.

Here are some of the titles of your threads that are about your brother: My little brother lost all of his friends/ My brother is hated by my entire town/ I’m scared for my 15 year old brother/ I am worried for my brother’s life.

Some of the threads about your cousin: My cousin is the most insecure girl that I know/ My cousin is so mean to me/ My cousin tells me I need a nose job all the time/ Every time I talk to my cousin I end up depressed/ My toxic cousin.

Some of your threads about friends: My best friend hooked up with my other best friend’s boyfriend/How can I have friends again?/ How can I change the relationship, should I reunite with my old friend/ I need some help making friends/ Trying to find my friends, niche/Losing my good guy friend/ I reached out to an old friend who ignored me/How do I make friends?

Some of your threads about your physical looks (and smell): I am tired of trying to be pretty but that’s all I want in life/ I just want to be beautiful/ I photoshopped a picture of my body on Instagram/ I am tired of women being judged by their looks/ A kid told me I look like a witch, does this mean I’m ugly? Do I smell bad?

Some of your threads about how you feel: Really confused about myself/ I feel like I need to depend on somebody/ Is there something wrong with me? Starting to realize sources of my social anxiety/ I’m so heart broken I want to die, I feel ugly/ Why don’t my teachers notice me/ I need help managing my diet and exercise in college/ I miss my life 4 years ago/ Hurt and confused/ I am so lonely/ I’m jealous, insecure, and truly sad/ Were these girls trying to ne mean to me? Why don’t guys go after me? My teacher said I’m lazy/ I don’t know how much more I can take.

In your most recent thread, the one I am replying to now, you mentioned being “in a really bad place”, seeing a therapist who thinks you suffer from body dysmorphic disorder, you being indeed hyper focused on your appearance, losing your friends, being closed off, hiding who you really are from friends and from your cousin whose “mindset is very toxic and exacerbates my mental issues”, feeling “very alone”, “always crying about my life.. about how much pain I am going through.. I cry every day”, that you “can’t stop” hyper focusing on your appearance and you “can’t stop” complaining to your boyfriend, that “pretending to be happy is exhausting”, and you asked: “How can I get over this?”

One of your 57 threads, August 1, 2018, a year and five months ago, is titled: “I realized something that really changed everything for me”. In it you wrote: “My dad .. is always working.. My mom is home all the time but she deals with.. depression and anxiety.. neither of my parents have been around to guide me or my siblings. I always knew this but didn’t think it was a big deal… I’ve always let my boyfriend walk over me and never had the strength to break up with him.. I’ve been told I have no personality.. I just go with the flow when with most people. I am always unsure of myself and never take charge.. I feel so fearful and stressed all the time.. I am still an extreme introvert and am very aloof in most social situations”.

My input to you, Kate, this Jan 3, 2020 morning:

1. Reads to me that you should end all contact with your cousin, you consistently described her as toxic to you, you ending up depressed every time you talk to her, and you mentioned here on your most recent thread as toxic still. It is therefore a no brainer to me that you should end all contact with her.

2. As I suggested to you before, do all that you can to direct your younger brother toward professional help regarding his issues, including his drug abuse. If you haven’t done so already, go to his school’s counselor and talk to him or her about your concerns for your brother health and safety.

3. Continue to see a therapist and share with her what you shared on your threads, particularly the August 1 thread.

4. Regarding my participation in your future threads: to be potentially helpful to you, it is not effective that I .. sort of multi task as I respond to your many, many threads, most often receiving either no reply, or a one line reply from you. Therefore, any and all future communication between me and you will happen on this thread and on no other.

You are welcome to respond to this post, or not, and you are welcome to start as many new threads as you would like in the future. I hope that other members will respond to your future threads.

Regarding a possible communication between you and me, it is to be done here. If you choose this option, please let me know what you think about the content of this post to you.

anita