Hey Missy, I hope you meet up soon and the chemistry is undeniable and you both have a great journey together. 🙂

As for the running away part. I just decide I rather stick around unless I am forced with no other choice, like her keep telling me she’s busy and we never meet up but she still meets up with her friends and neighbour without question. I wont have no regrets, I regret sticking around where I am constantly getting mixed signals and it’s pretty obvious her man does not want her near me because she never makes time for me anymore unlike her other friends and she has pushed away the friendship over time but she STILL says yes to talking on the phone and has only said no a few times (sad and family visiting), but sometimes I get hopeful but not nearly as much as I used to. I will get hurt but  ahwell, I rather experience something amazing rather then not experience anything at all so the pain is worth it.

Still feeling suicidal, just not as much as I used to and I rather not talk to people about those thoughts. My mind goes deep and into the trenches.