Ok, I may consider going back to my therapist just to have someone to talk to about this stuff in person.

2. the perfect man for me would be someone who is attentive and present with me when I’m talking. Someone who challenges me and inspires me. I’d prefer him to be a surfer because it’s a lot easier to travel and go on trips and live in certain areas if our priorities are the same, such as surfing. (my last bf did not surf and it was very difficult to travel and he didn’t understand my passion and love for the ocean/being by the ocean) I want him to be funny and able to take sarcasm. I want him to know himself well and recognize/express his own needs clearly and honestly. I want him to have a sex drive that matches mine. I want him to value his own health, mental and physical health. I want him to do things that make my life easier instead of more stressful–like bringing me food or cooking every now and then, or planning a trip. I want him to share things with me about his life, his family, his experiences openly. I want him to speak to me directly and not be passive aggressive or beat around the bush with things. I want him to also feel inspired by me and feel joy when I’m around. Someone who has their own goals/drive and is a hard worker.

The relationship would be very respectful of space and boundaries–not spending ALL of our time together. He needs to have his own outlets and friends. Realizing its important to have a life outside of the relationship with friends and alone time. I don’t need anything too fancy other than a good connection and seeing eye to eye about things like society and the human experience. I’d like our time together to be light and fun, not tense or serious or jealous. There would just be an understanding of eachother’s freedom to be ourselves, but still committed to being exclusive with eachother. Any feelings of non-monogamy I’d hope would be communicated in an open and honest way. I don’t feel like at the moment I want kids or marriage. Unless I met someone who could change my mind or have me thinking in that way.