Dear Katie:

“how do I just stop the thoughts from even coming to me?”- if by “just stop” you mean to no longer ruminate anytime soon, then you can’t. Some drugs will bring about a relief of no rumination at all but will lead to far greater problems and the relief at one point on is a thing of the past. SSRI drugs are prescribed for obsessive thinking, and they take of the edge off, a relief for some time, but they don’t accomplish that permanent relief you wish to have.

Psychotherapy, if it is quality psychotherapy with a therapist that understands OCD, then with lots of work and time you will make great progress. In therapy it will take teaching you and you practicing a multi disciplinary approach, that is, teaching you emotional regulation skills aimed at you lowering your anxiety every time it is elevated through mindful practice, it takes you having a daily routine that works for you, it takes you being selective as to the people you choose in your life, it takes you having some insight into the origin of your elevated anxiety back in your early childhood, it takes you practicing empathy toward yourself and assertiveness with others, and probably more things that I am not thinking about right now.

I can tell you what doesn’t work: the compulsion to check following an obsession. For example, regarding your nose obsession: to google photos of noses, to ask people if your nose is big, and this is what I see members doing on this forum when obsessed with this or that worry- they ask people their opinion on the issue, but they are never satisfied with answers, they keep asking and asking on any website they can get to, asking the same question. No matter the answers they receive (some answers are thoughtful, thorough, complete and excellent), no answer satisfies them and following getting an excellent answer, they ask the same question as if for the first time.

Regarding the origin of your elevated anxiety overall (I say elevated because all humans are anxious, it is the human condition), I remember from our previous communication that it has something to do with your mother giving you the message very early on, I think it was pre-school, or kindergarten, that there is something wrong with you, even taking you to doctors to figure out what is wrong with you (while all along there was nothing wrong with you).

Maybe that message turned into the core belief: something is wrong with me. And it is this core belief that is fueling your Nose Obsession. This message/ core belief better be looked at in context of your therapy. You are welcome to share more about it here, if you want. We can talk about it further, here.

anita