Dear Janus, Earth Angel and Poet:

I read your recent post and have the following input and advice:

#1 Priority: Minimize your distress level: dropping the meditation class was a wise choice for this purpose. Studying at Stockton’s library instead of  at home whenever possible, is another wise choice. Continuing to use the counseling services as well as  student success services is another wise choice.

It will not be a wise choice for you to drop all your classes and no longer attend Stockton. If you did that, you will be around your parents 24/7 and that will be bad for you.

When at home, see if having headphones on with the sound of ocean waves or rain or a train can block the noise that your parents produce talking loudly and moving things.

Find a way to relax your gender dysphoria. Find a way to accept your body as it is right now. At the least, find a way to lower your distress regarding your body being physically female. I know you don’t want to be physically female, but not wanting it and hating it.. doesn’t change the fact that you are physically female. Interacting with other  LGBT students/ people on the internet, that doesn’t change the fact that you are physically female.

Any and all the terms and labels of the LGBT literature does not change the fact (I know I am repeating myself) that you are indeed physically female.

Find a way to be less distressed- for now- with the physical reality of your body.

Aim at being okay with the physical reality of your body, so that you can proceed with your studies at Stockton, so that you don’t end up with your parents 24/7.

Do you see how important it is that you lower and lower your distress over the physical reality of your body?

Whenever we humans reject reality, we get into trouble. Not only as far as the realities of our bodies, but otherwise, in every area.

Relax some of the  LGBT labels and explanations of things, let it not be your god and bible. Don’t let it tell you that there is no way for you to relax into the reality of your body, that the only way for you to live is in extreme distress and misery until such time that you can afford hormones and surgeries.

Relax into your physical reality now. After all, as a science student and a science enthusiast, you are supposed to see physical reality as it is and accept it, be it the reality of stars and planets, the reality of plants and animals and the reality of this one animal- you!

Stick to the science of you- physically female. Aim to accept this scientific reality of who you are. At the least aim to accept this for the next four years.

anita