Dear Basil:

I don’t see any other sensible choice for you to make other than ending this relationship as soon as possible.

“My boyfriend has took a stand for me, has fought with his parents and have made it clear that he wants to marry me”- unfortunately he is not able to take a stand for you and for himself beyond that which he took with his parents. He fought with his parents, but he didn’t win. He didn’t win because still, in the present time, “His parents are equally torturing him”.

And to add to it, he is fighting against you, “He says that me continuously doing the same thing makes him burst out in a bad way”- I asked you what that same thing is because if it is you calling him a terrible name or yelling at him, then I would understand his bursting out in a bad way. But you answered me that he gets mad at “small things”, mistakes, like “not prioritizing him over my work and these stuff”.

This means to me that he is so tortured that he unreasonably expects you to make it all better for  him, expecting you to  act so impossibly perfectly that you will take away his torture. And he blames you for not succeeding in doing the impossible.

I imagine that his parents are cruel parents who have been torturing him in some ways before you came into the picture. This is probably why he is a tortured man. He stand up to them once in a while but he didn’t yet win, he is still tortured by them.

“He is currently all alone”-but he is not better when his parents are in his life, and he is no better having  you in his life. After all, he has been tortured while you are with him, trying to be as loving and as patient as you can be with him.

Your choice is between:

1. Staying with him and experience torture alongside him (“I feel suffocated and feel I have doomed my life”), that is, you suffering and him suffering.

2. Breaking up with him and you having a chance to not be tortured, to not be doomed to a life of suffering.

* I figure you do  want to get married, but this is not the right man for you to marry, unfortunately.

anita