@adelaide and @michelle I do appreciate a dose of reality and truth.

While panicking I didn’t explain properly but my ex actually said in the text would you like me to come over. Which was why I was shocked at what he expected.  I know what he’s like in the past because of the physical connection we had, he would send out these feeler texts during our break ups after months of no contact because he knew I still had hope of me and him being together and I’d give in and reply. But we would always end up back to square 1 – breaking up because of the same issues.

Anyway I really appreciate your advice on not being a drain on Jay. I’m really trying but he is great he even rang me to see if I wanted to spend time with his parents and him. He’s a gem. My anxiety worsened at the idea though as I’m ready for meet the parents as my brain will get ahead of itself. My anxiety is not coming from him or my ex. It’s coming from fear surrounding the coronavirus, I know the runny nose is not a symptom but it means I have to stay away for my sisters sake as she is very prone to any infection. I really am trying to be better. My friends have come around tonight. I just want to see my family it’s what I need right now and it’s scary to think how long we will be on lockdown for.

Thank you @adelaide for offering but I like the anonymity of forums. It’s easier to talk to the forum as a stranger. That was a very very kind gesture and a testament to what a wonderful person you are.

@Michelle I hope you have an easy return to home. Keep yourself safe and thank you for replying.

I’m trying to be better, I really am. I’m sorry for my rants.