Dear CB:

The  no brainer part of your situation is that you need to see a good divorce lawyer so to protect your monetary rights regarding property that you own with him and otherwise, maybe you are entitled to spousal support following the separation and what may be a divorce to come.

The fact that he has been with you since he was 15 sits well with the middle age crisis theory. He sees himself at the age of about 52 (15+27), his 20s gone, his 30s… his 40s, and before he gets to be 60 and 70, he wonder how it would be with a different woman. Something different, something new to make him feel young again.

“I feel so redundant and unecessary I’ve lost my purpose and feel so so sad and cry all the time”- I am sorry, CB, that you are hurting so badly. I wish you were not hurting at all, I wish that after 27 years of marriage and you caring for his parents.. I would hope that he was appreciative of you and  grateful to you, instead of considering you “redundant and unecessary”.

If he used to be a good man, and you were a good wife to him, I don’t know how it is that he woke up one day and figured that what you feel is not important, and what he feels is the only thing that matters.

Maybe he wasn’t a good man all along, I don’t know.

And you are not redundant and unecessary, even if that’s the case in his mind and heart. You are as necessary as any human, and important no less than any other.

anita