Dear Nico,

There is so much in your story that is good. You have been through a lot, changed the way you think and behave and become stronger as a result.It seems to me you don’t need anyone’s wisdom – you already have it inside you, and you would benefit from connecting with it…Your sister has voiced some valid concerns, but why project all that negativity into situations which have not occurred? If you have decided to try and make the new business work, the only way to find out if you will be successful is to try. I have always found that the only way to deal with fear is to face it. Everyone gets fearful about things, and acknowledging there could be problems is helpful. Predicting outcomes like you will go mad etc. is not helpful.

You were brilliant in school, and you had a great career, both of which are great indicators that you will be successful in a new business venture if you stay focused. Who’s to say that once things get going and feel more independant financially that you won’t find your own place, while continuing to work with your family?

I have found as I have developed greater spiritual awareness that I am more comfortable voicing my feelings and setting boundaries. No-one can help you decide whether having to witness your father’s abusive behavior is enough for you to change your mind about living and working with him. You say he has changed as he has aged and maybe that’s true. In any event, you have changed and even though you are moving away, will still be in contact with the new supportive friends you have made. In deciding to go ahead it is important for you to remind yourself of this. Remember too that loving yourself means feeling comfortable stating your feelings and setting boundaries — witnessing your father’s abusive behavior towards your mother, may involve this.

Feel good about yourself and live in the moment – let go of the fear and let your heart guide your way.

Love and peace,

Marilyn