Dear Aizhana:

“Is putting my mental needs first selfish?”- no. It is selfish to want another person to put his or her mental needs second. It seems that he is selfish for this reason.

“Is this denying basic love and support to him?”- listening to him “whine for hours” is hurting yourself. He is hurting you when he whines for hours. Hurting is the opposite of love and support.

If he wants to express his emotions, why not set a time limit: five minutes?

anita