Dear Greed4UrLove:

I am back earlier than I expected. I am sorry you feel so crappy and I understand why you feel this way.

Regarding her closed off, “blunt and emotionless” expressions with you- that’s her making life easier for herself, for now.

You wrote: “I know she is a person who carries a lot of guilt for hurting others”- she carries a lot of guilt, as a child in a religious home, and for nine years a wife who didn’t want to be a wife, and as a mother who.. perhaps didn’t want to be a mother.

She came out of the closet, ended her marriage, had a woman lover in her home, with her children… guilt somewhere along her crept in…  but she can’t go back into the closet, so she breaks up with her woman lover, shuts off her emotions for her woman lover, and decides to have ‘adventure and fun’.. to go out and have ’emotionless sex'”.

From what I read in your thread, she is moving too far from the married-with-children (with a religious background) traditional role of a woman—>  all the way to a different traditional role, that is of men having “emotional sex”, sex for “adventure and fun” with as many as women as possible, or as a pandemic will allow.

The middle way for her would have been to have a healthy love relationship with a woman. The extreme is what she is aiming at. Problem is that this guilt is not going anywhere. The way she is moving in is not congruent with mental health.

I hope you feel better soon. Her behavior after all is not about you: her guilt preceded you by many years and she is trying to resolve this guilt in a way that.. will not resolve her guilt, and cause her more problems.

Post again anytime.

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by .