Alright, this is how it went.

Me: Let’s talk in the next few days, not up for a facetime call right nowthough so just a regular call

Me: Hope your day goes well

Me: Uhhhhh…Whatever I did to you I am sorry but I guess you no longer wanna talk anymore now that you paid me back :/

Her: Pat! please prefer not to hear this..I’m at work since you messaged earlier, my phone was on silent..don’t take personal, sorry I take a while to answer back sometimes. Sure let’s chat soon.

Me:Fine call me later for a few mins to clear this up, I just had a huge panic attack for over an hour finding out you’re on FB while I am thinking holy shit I’m a fuckin retard

Her: Really sorry you feel that way! I care for you as a friend but I am not really up for a phone call today..just about to have my last person then drive home..all good buddy. I’d say relax bout it but I totally know how it feels. Sorry again. But also I didn’t do anything wrong buddy.

Me: Alright well I guess I’ll try calling you later this week before your guy arrives on the 5th if you’re still up to talking on the phone, if not maybe July.

Her: Ok have a good night Pat!

Me: I’ll try but I am still bummed out. You as well…

Me: I’m sorry, later

I JUST want things to be like before, where I didn’t have to wait ALL DAY for a reply back, we would message each other in the morning for a few minutes and the rest of my day would be much better, it got me through my shitty days along with her really wanting to talk on the phone for a long time and spend time together like friends are supposed to do. I am just gonna tell her…

“I just miss how our friendship used to be where we would text for a few minutes in the morning and my day would instantly be better because I am feeling really connected to this awesome person and it’s getting me through my shitty days and how we had those really long 45 minute to 1 hour phone calls and how invested both of us were and now it feels like the complete opposite and I can’t help being stuck left in the past rather then moving forward but I fear if I moved forward we would never talk or see each other again”.