Hi anita,

May I ask if you have any advice as to desensitizing those things that remind me of him, or are associated with him? How can I not feel so horrible every time we inevitably run into one another?

I have gone down the path of being angry and hostile about them, but in the end this doesn’t exactly help. I should probably add that my “removal” from his life didn’t come without its own drama (from me, because I was so upset by his ignoring me and my request to “chat”). I guess he thought I wanted to get back together (I did, to be honest, and his avoiding me probably was for the best but, it still hurt that although he “didn’t not want me in his life” when we ended things, he didn’t seem to think it mattered that I was upset. I suppose I can imagine not wanting to face me but, it seems only respectful, you know?

So, having said some harsh words and severing him in a very dramatic way, I still feel uncomfortable in his presence. Maybe he does in mine, too. It’s just kind of sad, how people treat each other.

But it makes me feel lame, I guess, for expecting more from the guys I date. Expecting to be treated with some respect and not just shrug my shoulders and move on immediately once it’s over.

I’m not too sure why these thoughts have come up for me lately. I think it may have to do with my impending return to the city. The very apartment where I was living… it all has some bad memories, you know?

LW