Dear lannawannabe:

Thank you, I hope you have a pleasant day as well.

This man was your first physically intimate relationship, however short it was, it was the First. You wrote in your previous thread, last month: “I’m 28, never dated.. I’ve often dreamt about it, and have wanted a partner but in an abstract way, never a particular person“-

– this man we are discussing was your first particular person, and the experience with him was your first non-abstract experience. You used the word “abstract”, let’s look more into this word. Merriam Webster gives the following as synonyms and words related to the word abstract: conceptual, ideal, metaphysical, theoretical, hypothetical, speculative, intellectual, mental, nonphysical. Antonyms (opposite meaning): material, physical, tangible, actual, factual, real.

What you had before him was a mental/ theoretical experience, and what you had with him was your first physical/factual experience- big difference. No wonder you have felt so strongly about him.

In your recent post you wrote: “I’ve wasted so much mental energy on this loser”- unfortunately most of what you’ve experienced regarding your first physical/ factual relationship is.. mental/ theoretical.

What I wrote here, is it interesting to you, does it mean something to you?

anita