Dear lannawannabe:

“when our frontal lobe (thinking, reasoning) gets over activated we ‘relapse’ to lizard brain and go .. into fight or flight, or shut down mode”- it’s more like when we are scared for a long time, aka anxious, then our thinking brain gets over-activated in effort to solve the danger that we perceive, to make the danger go away. But  overthinking doesn’t make the perceived danger go away, instead it maintains the anxiety, causes it to keep happening.

Here is a possibility of what you perceive to be danger in regard to this man and the short real-life relationship with him: it  may be that the danger you perceive is that you are intellectually and physically inadequate. Because if you are, then how are you going to have a good life. So the danger, in other words, is being forever lost in a bad life because of personal inadequacy.

This short real-life relationship is (according to my theory presented here) proof that you are indeed “inadequate.. being who I am” (taken from the title of your thread), in your mind, that is.

So, fearing that, your thinking brain goes overboard, trying to figure out.. trying to find a way to undo this supposed proof.

Am I making sense to you now?

anita