I had several things hit me all at one time. Individually, they’re ‘not a huge deal’, but since they all came on at once, it feels overwhelming. I have always been overweight, a binge eater, depressed, and anxious. This all intensified when I went away for college. I gained a ton of weight and binge ate every day. When I had to leave my job a year ago, I became an emotional alcoholic. I drank about 3-4 days per week until I passed out. I was never physically dependent on it, but emotionally I was. I was lonely and bored and the alcohol helped numb those feelings.

I had to leave my job because of back problems. My L5 vertebra is fused with my sacrum, which causes me a LOT of pain. I am also morbidly obese, and that, of course, does not help the back pain. I also developed asthma and TMJ around the same time. So right now I am dealing with Bertolotti’s Syndrome (name of the back defect), obesity, TMJ, asthma, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and binge eating disorder. I am also transgender (I don’t consider that a ‘disorder’, but some doctors do). Again, individually those things might be okay, depending on the person who is having to live with them, but when you’re dealing with them all at once, it just feels so hopeless.