Dear Marina,

Being in a relationship is a natural craving, after all, human beings are social animals. We long for companionship but to make them the ultimate purpose or goal in life can be extremely stressful even for the person you are with. Think of it this way you are taking all your lemons and putting it one basket that is not capable of handling more than let’s say 50 lemons but if you continue to overwhelm it instead of dividing the lemons and using other baskets then you are bound to damage the basket.

Your desire to be in relationships should be parallel to other things in life as well, such as your career goals, family, friends, and other things that make your life your life. Even if you are in a healthy and loving relationship it is still important for that relationship to not become your everything to a point where you are not able to set boundaries or you are “dropping everything to care” for the other person.

Many of the things you have mentioned such as “no one will ever want to date/marry me”, makes me wonder why you feel such negativity towards you. It seems you are willing to care, empathize, love, and appreciate the person you are with which are wonderful qualities and  I am certain you have many more. So why wouldn’t anyone want to date/marry you? I would highly encourage that you take some time away from this relationship and focus on you. The letting go process as Anita mentioned will be hard but it is a journey that is important for you to take in order to be in a relationship that can nurture and grow. Just remember your purpose in life should first and for most be to take care of your mental wellbeing and the rest should follow.

Warm wishes,

Noor