Hi Anita,

I should rephrase, what I meant by “missed” is I didn’t see an email notifying me that you had replied, and I admit that I did not come back to check and read if there was one waiting for me. I am sorry about that. I think at this point my father’s cancer diagnosis had come and was focused on that. I do know what you mean though, and I apologize for not making more of an effort to reply to the thoughtful posts you have taken the time to write to me.

Definitely I can understand how this would come across that I have not taken into consideration what you have written to me. I occasionally hear the same feedback from friends and family. I think what’s happening is that my progress is slow. It feels at times that there is some sort of block, that someone has to repeat what they say multiple times for me to really hear it and understand it. I wonder sometimes if that has to do with my diagnosis of ADHD, but I’m not too sure. I am trying my best to really work on this, either way. I was taking a different medication for this and the anxiety, however I didn’t feel it was helping and with the okay from my medical practitioner, I was titrating down off the medication. I wonder now, with what recently happened, if this was premature.

Thank you Anita, I like and admire you very much. Believe it or not, I have been in continued therapy for over a year now. I have an appointment scheduled with my therapist tomorrow, I have decided I will be honest with her and let her know that I don’t think my progress has been going well, and see what she suggests in terms of a concrete action plan to move forward and make permanent changes. Maybe she has been holding back with her true assessment of me, I’m not sure. Either way, I have to do something, because my disappointment in myself and regret is not helping me.

That all being said, do you have any advice to me in regards to the current man I have written about? I’m very sad it is at this state, as just a week or so ago I was thinking of writing to you with the opposite feedback, that I was very proud of myself for how I was handling the new relationship and that I was feeling very little anxiety in it, and even when I was, I did not project this onto the relationship or the man. I’m disappointed that I did not reach that point and am back at this place. Once again, I apologize for the lack of my response and will be much more cognizant of this in the future. Thank you again for your continued support and guidance!

L