Dear Lothar:

Consider the idea that it wasn’t a mistake, or that if it was a mistake, it wasn’t a huge mistake. Looking at your story, the little told, I don’t see anything huge about you reaching out to her. It feels huge to you, but it is not huge. But this feeling will most likely pass.

What may be huge is the pandemic that is happening and has been happening for so long, and getting older, mortality.. yes, that’s huge. We often look away from what is really happening in our lives/what  is huge,  and we focus instead on something small, projecting our huge emotions into something not very important. It feels safer, more manageable to do that.

“what if she didnt remember me at all?.. What if.. I don’t warrant a second thought”?-

-reads like the musing of a man who is becoming more aware of his own mortality: what if the world does not remember me at all, when I am gone..

As to the woman, the fact that she didn’t respond does not necessarily mean that she doesn’t remember you (that is unlikely), or that  you don’t warrant a second thought. It may be that you warranted many thoughts and emotions, some may be pleasant,  others may be unpleasant, and she is overwhelmed, uncomfortable.

anita