Dear Rhaenys:

You wrote in your original post: “I would love to get advice on how to break my patterns”. Your pattern, as I understand it, is (1) you were interested all along in a long term, lifetime relationship with a man, (especially now being 33 and wanting a family), but you chose to date younger men who pursued you but who were not interested in a committed, long term relationship with you. (2) You waited for one of these men 7 years before he broke up with you. (3) All three men broke up with you (4) You blame yourself for the last relationship ending even though there is no evidence of any commitment or long term plans on his part, involving you.

My advice:

1. Do not date a man who is not interested, from the get go (from before he  met you) in getting married in the coming year or two.

2. Do not date a man who is not able to get married in the coming year or two.

3. In the context of a relationship (and in any other context) treat yourself respectfully- see to it that the man can tell that you respect yourself. Make sure he respects you.

I think these three are a good start.

anita

man with the stated purpose of wanting to get married and having a good marriage.

I would love to get advice on how to break my pattern.