Hi Gemsandrubies,

I can relate to the situation you are in. My ex and I broke up because we had been fighting about petty things for 10 days and wanted a break. On my end, the fights were resulting from his changing behavior and closeness towards my then best friend – he seemed to have taken some sort of interest in her (and she was showing a lot of interest in him as well, despite knowing that he and I were still dating) and that ultimately resulted in our breakup as I didn’t want to be in a relationship where I felt insecure.

Right after we broke up, my ex started hanging out with my best friend more often and soon after they got into a relationship. Neither of them informed me that they got together, in fact they had been hiding it from everyone until people started noticing and they finally acknowledged. It broke my heart to see them happy together while I had been miserable for so long, I deeply cared for my ex and wanted us to work our problems out – but he had already moved on to my then best friend who was too willing to choose him over our friendship. I didn’t see a way out of my sadness until I decided to let go and work on other aspects of my life. Over the next few months I focused on my career – got my dream internship and converted it into a full-time job offer, made new friends, started enjoying my classes, and tried things I wouldn’t have before. I took baby steps towards finding happiness and have come a long way since my miserable, sorrow-filled days.

I am telling you all this to let you know that there’s hope. There will be days when you feel low and would want to do nothing but cry in your bed. So do that. And then work on something meaningful that would benefit you in the long run – building new skills, getting better at your job, anything else you’d love doing. As you progress in your life, you’ll think less and less about your ex fiance and best friend and more about your own life. Sure, you’ll have breakdowns during the process, but the frequency and impact will reduce. Keep going and before you know it, you’ll emerge as a better, stronger version of yourself!

Stay strong and take baby steps towards happiness.