Such good answers and I have appreciated learning and reading today. Thank you for posting this question, samuel. I can only add this: sometimes we have an illusion of control. Thinking we can fix someone or change someone. This is part of our ego as already written. Its a fallacy that keeps us in ego and really, it keeps us unhappy. Our friend says something mean to us and our egos get hurt because we feel X or Y about it. Maybe we try to convince them or ourselves that they are wrong about what they said. We think about this for days, weeks, years sometimes. This hangs on to our emotional needs which probably are not serving us well as they don’t bring contentment, peace of mind, or so called happiness. I think sometimes when we are struggling against something, some idea, some problem, it is because we need to do our inner work as others have written. The lesson is waiting for us but we resist. Is a typical human reaction. We are not bad people when we resist change or changing our inner selves but we do limit ourselves this way.